(Note:
The following message is a companion article to a message
which aired on Autism One Radio. To hear the broadcast
at any time, please go to:
http://autismone.org/radio/default.cfm?archive=802&bg=&FromA1
and click on the arrow next to “Listen to Jack
and Rebecca Sytsema.”)
HOPE
IN THE MIDST OF HOPELESSNESS
Hope
deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled
is a tree of life.
(Proverbs 13:12, NIV)
ONE OF LIFE’S
most difficult blows is to learn that your child or
your grandchild has autism. We remember that blow in
our own lives when we received a doctor’s visit
form after an appointment with a neurologist. In the
diagnosis portion was very matter-of-factly written
the word, “autism” and on the top was our
son’s name. There it was in black and white. Even
though we had suspected it for many months and had visited
a long line of doctors in search of the diagnosis, the
actual impact was jarring to say the least. What now?
we wondered. We prayed, we cried, we grieved. How could
this be? What went wrong?
We set on
a course to learn all we could about how best to help
our son. Within two months we had completely changed
his diet, were feeding him a long list of supplements,
and started him in an intensive ABA therapy program.
Everything we learned to do, we did. But Nicholas still
had autism. Five years later, Nicholas still has autism.
We still deal with many of the same issues he has when
we were first seeking a diagnosis, and new ones have
emerged. He has good days and bad days – good
seasons and bad seasons. And so have we. There are times
when we still felt helplessness and hopelessness and
struggled to find God in our darkest and bleakest moments.
Even with our understanding of prayer and God’s
destiny, we can still feel frustrated and discouraged.
THE
CYCLE OF HOPELESSNESS
When any
of us are in a very difficult situation it is easy to
lose sight of God in the midst of our circumstances.
During our testing periods, discouragement can easily
creep in. It is discouragement that breeds “hope
deferred,” or hopelessness, which makes the heart
sick. When we have a measure of hopelessness within
us, we lose our expectation of God and can lose sight
of our future. Hopelessness draws attention to our desperate
situation. Instead of our situation directing us to
God’s continued perfect plan for our life, hopelessness
rises up and says: “Things will never get better.
God has abandoned you.” Any time we experience
loss, trauma, wounding, or injustice, our mindset can
go in two directions: We can live with a belief system
that God can heal and restore, or our belief system
can form hopelessness, grief, and abandonment.
If the latter
is the belief system operating in our minds, we often
have a tendency to accuse God for the trauma we are
experiencing. We also begin to think there is no solution
to our problem. We wake up saying to ourselves, “There
is no way out.” We can easily begin to believe
that autism somehow has more power to define our child
or even our family structure than God does.
WHAT
GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS?
We want to
be quick to point out that it’s perfectly normal
and is even okay to have feelings of frustration and
discouragement. To deny they are there can lead to many
other problems in our relationships, and even in our
physical health. We need to both acknowledge and express
our feelings in a constructive way. In fact, here are
some positive byproducts of struggling through very
difficult times.
Difficult
circumstances produce a shaking in our lives. It is
in the midst of these struggles that we review our life’s
purpose and the assumptions we may have made. We begin
to ask ourselves questions such as, What’s really
important to me? What is the true source of my strength?
What are my real priorities? In the midst of shaking,
much of our life may take on a new focus. If we allow
God to lead us in our times of refocusing, we find that
instead of moving away from God’s destiny for
us, He can use our circumstances to move us forward
in His plan for our lives.
Another byproduct
of difficult times is an increased connection with God
and His grace. We have heard it taught that we should
never question God. We respectfully disagree with this
teaching. Not only is it okay, it is even necessary.
We will find that as we ask God questions, He is faithful
to respond to us in some way. It may not be in a way
we were expecting or in the timing we wanted, but God
will always respond to us. Times of shaking in our lives
produce a wonderful opportunity for growth in our prayer
life. We need God like never before in order to get
us through the storm. If we can endure the shaking,
we will come out in a much stronger place, which leads
to greater maturity. Shaking provides us with a unique
opportunity to rise to new levels, and to come to a
new understanding of God’s awesome grace. His
grace is always sufficient.
A third result
of difficult times is restoration. We feel this with
Nicholas. He needs certain things restored to him in
order to overcome autism. At this point, that restoration
will have to be a supernatural move of God. But we continue
to believe Him for it! There may be other things in
your life that need restoring. Perhaps a marriage or
other important relationships. Whatever it is that has
been lost by the circumstances we face, we must remember
that God’s response to loss is always restoration.
RESTORING
HOPE
If our circumstances
have produced hopelessness, however, can we begin to
break the power of hopelessness off our minds and situations?
One of the most faith-building phrases in the Bible
is “But God…” It is in these amazing
words that we find hope for what lies ahead:
“My
flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of
my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).
“The
nations will rush like the rushing of many waters; but
God will rebuke them and they will flee far away, and
be chased like the chaff of the mountains before the
wind, like a rolling thing before the whirlwind”
(Isaiah 17:13).
“For
indeed he was sick almost unto death; but God had mercy
on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should
have sorrow upon sorrow” (Philippians 2:27).
“But
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans
5:8).
Regardless
of your circumstances and regardless of a diagnosis
of autism, “But God” is still well able
to fulfill the promises He has for you and your family.
Once you embrace “But God” in your heart
of hearts, you won’t get bogged down under hopelessness
and defeat, but will instead be able to say, “My
child has autism, ‘But God’ has a plan for
his/her life. My child may have limitations, ‘But
God’ says that my child has great potential. The
world says that autism may keep a child confined forever,
‘But God’ says that my child has a purpose
and a future. ‘But God’ has made promises
that we will grab a hold of. Yes, my child has autism,
‘But God’ is able to break him/her free
to be all he/she was created to be!”
It is the
simple truth of knowing that “But God” is
more powerful than any circumstance we face that will
begin to break the chains of hopelessness from our minds
and allow Him to move our lives. Every time that the
situation becomes overwhelming, take a moment to say,
“Yes, this is happening, ‘But God’
has the answer!”
DECLARATION
AND EXPECTATIONS
When we know
the promises the Lord has made to us, and as we are
able to grab onto those with faith, our expectations
of God’s power in our lives begin to rise. As
expectations arise, hopelessness breaks.
We have found
great comfort and power in declaring biblical promises
out loud. To declare means to announce an intention
to undertake a particular course of action or adopt
a particular status. Another meaning (which we love)
is to begin a fierce campaign to get rid of or defeat
something, or start fighting in earnest. It also means
to announce, speak out, assert, or affirm.
When we make
a declaration by reading a promise from Scripture aloud,
or saying something we expect Him to do, it can be very
helpful. Something seems to happen within us when we
hear it out loud, rather than just praying in silence.
A declaration interrupts the cycle of negative thoughts
or negative words we have spoken that can lead to hopelessness.
That is one value of praise and worship, for example.
As we sing aloud, we are declaring that He is worthy
to be praised.
The same
is true for reading a Scripture out loud with great
intent. For example, take Jeremiah 29:11-12 which says,
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’
declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not
to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then
you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I
will listen to you.’” We can declare that
Scripture back to God by saying something like, “Lord,
you know the plans you have for me and for our family.
I thank you, God, that you will prosper us. I declare
that even as this Scripture promises, you have a hope
and a future for this family. Praise you, God that when
I call upon you, I can be assured that you listen.”
In that example
we see that as we speak that out loud, hope begins to
arise. Any belief that God has forgotten us, or that
He does not have a prosperous future for us begin to
melt. Why? It is because you are speaking the truth
of God’s Word, and that truth brings freedom from
bondages of hopelessness. Whenever we are at a particularly
low point, we are often able to turn the tide of our
emotions and expectation by declaring some of God’s
promises as we pray together.
Although
it is great if you can pray out loud with your spouse,
we know that’s not always possible. But we encourage
you to declare out loud, even if you are by yourself.
It may seem a bit strange at first, but if you will
allow God to penetrate your heart as you pray, you will
find hopelessness and discouragement will begin to fall
away. It’s much more than just positive thinking.
It is allowing the Holy Spirit to minister to at the
deepest point of your hope deferred, and renew your
expectation in Him.
Here are
some promises and declarations you can make over you
and your child as you allow your expectation of “But
God” to be renewed:
• Declare
the Lord’s presence to rest on you and your household
(Isaiah 60:2);
• Declare new vision to arise within you (Isaiah
60:4);
• Declare new joy to overwhelm you (Isaiah 60:5);
• Declare new provision to come to your house
(Isaiah 60:6-7);
• Declare God will release the strength and supply
you need (Isaiah 60:9-10);
• Declare new favor to come upon you, and new
doors and connections to open for you (Isaiah 60:10)!
There is
no doubt that autism can deal any family a great blow.
And there is no doubt that even the strongest of Christians
can experience days of discouragement and grief. Even
so we must remember that “But God” has the
power to bring us hope in the midst of hopelessness,
and change the course of our lives and our children’s
lives back toward the destiny He intends!
With many
blessings for days ahead,
Jack and Rebecca Sytsema
©2006,
Children of Destiny. All rights reserved.
(Portions
of this article have been adapted from the book, The
Best is Yet Ahead, by Chuck D. Pierce and Rebecca Wagner
Sytsema, published by Wagner Publications, 2001)
To
receive each new topic via email as it becomes available,
please send an email
to us at prayer@childrenofdestiny.org.
To view the Scripture Guide, please scroll down.
HOPE
IN THE MIDST OF HOPELESSNESS
SCRIPTURE GUIDE
Why are you
downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put
your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior
and my God.
(Psalm 42:11, NIV)
Not only
so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we
know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance,
character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint
us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts
by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
(Romans 5:3-5, NIV)
Be strong
and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.
(Psalm 31:24, NIV)
We wait in
hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In
him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as
we put our hope in you.
(Psalm 33:20-22, NIV)
Remember
your promise to me, for it is my only hope. Your promise
revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles.
(Ps 119:49-50, NLT)
There is
surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not
be cut off.
(Proverbs 23:18, NIV)
But those
who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They
will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not
grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
(Isaiah 40:31, NIV)
Yet this
I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of
the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for
his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The
LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the
one who seeks him;
(Lamentations 3:21-25, NIV)
May the God
of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust
in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power
of the Holy Spirit.
(Romans 15:13, NIV)
Let
us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he
who promised is faithful.
(Hebrews 10:23, NIV)
______________________________
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